How do you persuade somebody to change their mind? John van Maurik offers some guidelines to a vital business skill
I once asked the regional manager of a financial services company how he set out to get his people to accept change. 'First of all I shout at them,' he replied, 'and if that does not work I shout louder. After that I threaten to fire them.' A few months later he himself was dismissed. The reason? His inability to introduce vital changes to work methods in line with the organisation's new image. Those who live by the sword ...
In order to prosper, let alone survive, in business, you need ambition, financial acumen - and the ability to persuade others. But what exactly is persuasion? Well, it doesn't involve shouting at people, for a start. Persuasion is about exerting influence. To be persuasive is to be powerful, but in a subtle and sometimes almost invisible way. It is the art of getting other people to accept your views, to embrace what is proposed, and even to wish to persuade others. There is nothing better than having a few 'apostles' at work on your behalf. Consequently, using persuasion as a tool for getting what you want usually has lasting consequences. Command and control may appear quicker, but more often than not the effect is short lived. After all, if you treat people like children you should not be surprised if they behave like children. The art of being persuasive does not mean avoiding conflict; it does involve using it differently. The wheels of business are oiled by the abrasive energy of people asserting different viewpoints for the greater good of the whole. As someone said to me recently, 'If you and your boss always agree with each other, one of you is unnecessary.'
But how do you persuade someone to do something new, or to change their mind? Occasionally you meet someone who is naturally persuasive, and seems to know exactly what to say at any given moment. Most of us need some help both in working out our approach to the problem, and in deciding on a strategy for the vital meeting itself. Here is a specific strategy aimed at helping you to be more persuasive; it involves both general tactics and some specific steps. First of all, clarify your objectives. You cannot persuade anybody to do anything unless you have decided exactly what it is you want. It is amazing how many people will embark on a long argument without first working out what success should mean for them. Try writing it down in two simple sentences. 'I need to persuade my colleague to second a vital member of his staff to my department for three months in order to help me with a special project. This will be difficult because my colleague is already under-staffed.' Then decide what success will mean to you. Does it necessarily mean one particular member of your colleague's department? Is a period of three months really necessary? When you've defined your goals, put yourself in the other person's shoes. You may have your agenda, but whoever you are setting out to influence will without doubt have one of their own. A useful approach is to think about that person's WIFM ('What's In it For Me?') The persuader who is able to satisfy many of the persuadee's WIFMs has a good chance of success.
Next, plan your approach. It is normally up to you, the persuader, to initiate the conversation, so you can select the style of words and arguments that you use. There are a number of commonly used approaches. First of all, there is the Godfather approach; this hides a will of steel and the ability to imply threats with the most innocent of expressions. 'Let me make you an offer you cannot refuse.' We all know what that means. Then there is the Inquisitor. The Inquisitor loves to argue, to pin the prey to the wall with a barrage of devastating questions. 'Surely you must see the logic of my approach? How could you possibly disagree with my facts?'
These are the hard techniques. Softer approaches are practised by the Missionary and the Super Sales Executive. The Missionary sets out to appeal to our better nature by weaving a moral argument. If we disagree we are somehow branding ourselves as lacking in values or integrity. 'Surely you must agree that this is the only right thing to do in the circumstances.' The Super Sales Executive, on the other hand, couldn't care less about the morality of it all as long as he or she can sell you their approach. They will often go for the pre-emptive close: 'I'm so glad you seem to agree. Now, what shall we do first?'
Often a mixture of styles will defuse some of the more Draconian elements of each and help you to put together a powerful argument.
Before going into the meeting, pick your ground. Should you meet in your office, his or her office, or a neutral place such as a corridor? Think carefully; the meeting-place itself may affect how confident or insecure the person is likely to feel. Sometimes people forced to 'play away' put up a stronger defence than when they are on their own ground.
Finally, the meeting itself. First of all, explain your case and the reason for it. Do not try to override the other person's objections, and acknowledge that they have valid views. Shoot a person down on all counter argument, and he may turn you down in order to save face.
Also, be prepared for people to try to persuade you to their own viewpoint. Decide what you are and are not prepared to agree to; your colleague may have gone through the same process. I call it 'choosing the hill to die on'. If you sense that you are attacking the other person's particular hill, try a different approach. Avoid confrontation; words such as 'yes, but' are likely to get the other person's back up, whereas 'yes, and' may well loosen things up. When you have reached an agreement, clarify what you have agreed and, most important, take action immediately. Don't hang around for a cup of coffee; you may suddenly find yourself back into argument again. If you have persuaded your boss to let you break budget and hire some temps, get them in immediately; people have been known to change their minds.
Finally, being persuasive is about being influential; it is also about being smart. To achieve this aim, you will need to be able to persuade people to see things differently. A glass can be regarded as half empty, or half full - it all depends on how you look at it. Paradoxically, being influential and smart need not involve non-stop talking. Being stuck on 'transmit' seldom gets the best results; careful listening can achieve wonders. Edmund Burke once said: 'The man who leaves your company well pleased with his own wit will be well enough pleased with yours.' The one-way communicator can have some nasty surprises. I once attended a consultative committee meeting at an electronics factory. The general manager was supposed to be listening to the staff's views on proposed organisational changes; instead he launched into a 30-minute diatribe extolling the virtues of the new system. At last he paused for breath. 'Have I managed to infect you with my enthusiasm?' he gasped.
'As far as we are concerned, that was a load of Domestos,' came the reply.
